Have you ever found it easier to blame someone or something other than yourself? I certainly have. For example if my relationship isn’t going as planned, it has to be his fault for not being a good enough communicator. And if there’s tension between business associates, it’s always because “they” are not really seeing the issue correctly; it’s always their fault.
Granted there are all sorts of circumstance where it sure seems that someone else is at fault and we’re doing everything we can, but then perception is always reality, isn’t it? What if every time we felt annoyed, hurt, needy, disappointed, ashamed, or any other emotion that limited us, we viewed it as a gift to help us learn where we need to heal, grow, or close any wound that has injured us and stopped us from growing? How much might we learn if we saw our frustration as something that originated with us, and no one else.
As long as we focus on how someone “made” us mad or angry or frustrated, we’ll keep looking somewhere “out there” for the answers. And unfortunately (and I only say unfortunately because that’s where our work lies) the answers lie within each of us.
When we are healed of whatever wound makes us feel insecure, unworthy, hurt or some other emotion, then we can clearly see what others need, as well as what it takes to empower others with what they need. We are always the teachers and we always lead from where we stand. And when we take the time to understand where we’ve been stuck and then allow the discomfort that it often takes to heal, we will lack for nothing; and we can simply use our understanding to help others who haven’t reached our level of awareness. It’s been said there is nothing more powerful than a person who needs nothing. This does not mean a person who has locked up his feelings and fears, but someone who is aware of where satisfaction and happiness originate.
With this self knowledge we are ready to step back and appreciate the uniqueness of people we encounter personally or professionally, without getting caught up in the emotion if they happen to be people we disagree with on specific issues. In my new book there’s a chapter that helps us interpret how people need to be treated, called Omnilinguistics, the power to speak with anyone based on what he or she truly needs. This clarity comes when we first understand what we need from an emotional perspective, and have the courage and vision to pass on the knowledge.
Why not decide to communicate with others more effectively in the new year, based simply on giving people information in the way they need to get it (otherwise they probably won’t hear it at all, only their version of what we intended). It could be a year where we no longer play the blame game, and more importantly if we’re willing to do the work, it could be the year we finally heal old wounds and get clear insight and inspiration into working and playing with greater energy, clarity and compassion.
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