Your Superhero Powers

What would Superheroes be without villains?

Probably a lot happier.

Yet we’ve all heard that those annoying issues we have to resolve usually come to us in the form of gifts; lessons we could never learn but for the challenge.

I actually prefer to get my “gifts” in the form of elegant dinners or beautifully wrapped packages, but the gifts that help us to build our Superhero character, to truly excel in our world, usually come in the form of villainous challenges that keep us up at night, UNTIL we find meaningful and effective ways to resolve them.

So, I’d like you to meet my favorite villain, appropriately named, Not This Time. I say favorite because this villain gives me my biggest challenges, he’s the excuse I long to use when things get too rough. Let me explain.

“It doesn’t count when:”

Not This Time is one of the worst, because he knows we know the right thing to do in every instance, that’s what makes us Superheroes in the first place. Come on, have you ever really not known what was the ethical, “right” thing to do about something?

Of course not, we know, and NTT (abbreviating villains makes them easier to write about) knows we know. But here’s the kicker, here’s what happens every day in the world we live in, NTT reminds us there are always exceptions. There are exceptions to doing and living what’s right when: we are really angry, when it’s our family, when we’re running late, when it’s too expensive, when we’re really tired, and the list is endless.

That’s the misconception that this villain wants us to believe – that there are times when we don’t have to do what’s right, as long as we live in integrity “most” of the time.

What a lie.

Just as kindness and unkindness ricochet, so does even one small decision to do it the easy way just this once; give in to our anger or frustration or other emotion, just this once.

Besides there’s a good chance no one will know anyway, at least that’s what Not This Time wants us to believe. Naturally we know, and that’s enough.

A Relationship Example

Let me give you an example. As a Superhero, you know that we end all relationships in as positive a manner as is possible. The model of retribution and revenge is quite old fashioned. One-upsmanship is not the role model for future generations. We have the ability to take our egos out of the picture and to understand if someone is really acting out, really being outrageous or angry or rude there is a need that is not being met. We have the ability to perceive that need and find an amicable way to handle the situation, no matter how difficult or impossible it appears on the surface. This is knowledge that we possess. It’s an unwritten law in the code of Super Ethics.

Last week something very frustrating happened. I have a business relationship with an individual who became entirely erratic, in fact he kind of melted down. This person acted in a very irrational and emotional way. In short he was about as childish and annoying as an adult can possibly be. And not childish for five minutes, but his unnerving behavior lasted for several hours.

Not My Favorite Gift

I was furious, annoyed, and ready to just end the relationship; why should I put up with that kind of whining, irrational behavior? My conscious, Superhero mind reminded me there was a big need here, and that he was relating that need to me in the only way he knew how. He didn’t have any other tools at his disposal to communicate in a more grown up, logical manner. This is what he was giving me as a gift, the ability to take my emotion out of the mix, to make the effort to see why he was so incredibly worked up, to work on the virtue patience, of which I have very little, and then to resolve the issue.

BUT the other part of my ego kept saying, “sure, but not this time. This time’s different, this time he has gone too far. It doesn’t count now, only in most other circumstances when it’s not this frustrating and infuriating. Not this time.”

Not This Time loves jumping into any situation because that means that in our most trying and annoying moments we don’t have to behave in a way we know will resolve an issue, we get a “Get out of being Adult” free card to use at will. And this is why this particular villain thrives. This part in each of us decides we don’t have to act rationally, that we can act out just as badly as “they” can. This delights the villain and ensures that chaos remains alive and intact.

An Experiment For You To Try

Why not have some fun this week and see just how much more you can accomplish if you dump Not This Time every time he rears his ugly head. Ask yourself, “What if I always acted in the way I knew was right, no matter what the circumstance?” and “Why not use this philosophy right now, no matter what seems to be taking place?”

No one said being a Superhero was easy, but the power you create from your actions, and the power you share with others, are tremendous contributions and will inevitably make business go smoother as well. Besides, it’s kind of fun to do the right thing. It becomes a habit!