Your Superhero Powers

It’s been said people die in their 20’s, they just wait until their 80’s to be buried. People give up, walk around a bit like actors in a version of the movie “Night of the Living Dead;” mental Zombies going through the motions. And if you’ve ever thought of putting a mirror under someone’s nose to see if they really were breathing, then you know what I’m talking about.

People often feel despair, frustration, and even hopelessness. It’s become so prevalent that probably three out of four calls I get concerning speaking, training or consulting come from managers who are concerned about the mental health of employees; the lack of motivation and initiative and the need for resilience.

So what do we do? How do we kick-start 2010 by offering hope and teaching people to be resourceful, resilient, adaptable and hopeful? Quite a challenge, wouldn’t you say? And something I’d like to address in all my blogs between now and the New Year.

I began thinking about resilience, and after going to Webster’s Dictionary I read this definition: “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.”

Perhaps some people have been conditioned to believe that everything is hopeless and they will usually offer examples of why worst-case scenarios always prevail. Of course we are all products of our upbringing and teaching and culture, but if we’re going to change prevailing cultures and be the change everyone needs to follow, then we have to start thinking differently. It begins with making a choice to do something, to be willing to be open.

And that something could be as simple as making a decision to find a reason to be hopeful, or someone to praise, or doing something that feels good or is rewarding or joyous. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale once spoke of being in a dreadful slump, sitting in his office wallowing in self pity. His secretary knocked on the door and told him it was time for his speech on positive thinking. The last thing he felt was positive, but he said he got up and just went out and acted “as if.” Later he started to feel the way he had only been acting before, but it was a choice, a decision to move out of where he felt stuck toward something that modeled what he ultimately wanted.

I’ll be back next week looking at examples of when and how we can cultivate hope and strengthen our resilience. It’s always about getting better information, a new perspective/model and reminding ourselves of what we already know, we first create in our minds what we ultimately create in our professional and personal lives. Let’s start looking at where and how we can change our focus and teach others the value of investing in hope. I don’t think there’s a better time to start than right now. What do you think?

Have any of you ever assumed that if you’re doing everything right—you’re conscientious, hard working, selfless, operating from integrity, guiding or mentoring others, that life should just be good? The day should never conspire against you? There shouldn’t be buckets of disappointments some days? AND, if you do encounter frustrations then you’re probably doing something wrong, not thinking correctly or being as smart as you know how to be; in other words, you’re to blame?

It is so easy to assume if we play by the rules, if we’re good grownups working hard to make the world a better place (working from our Super Hero positions) then the Universe will reciprocate, reward us for our goodness and smarts. However, that in itself is believing that by behaving in a certain way—cause and effect—we will affect different results, just based on our intentions.

And why am I writing this today? Because I noticed that the day seemed to be conspiring against me. One thing after another after another seemed to be tumbling in a downward spiral. Little disappointments, bigger aggravations, lots of incidental annoyances in between. And I found myself thinking, if I am living up to my beliefs and my understanding then these things cannot be happening, I must be doing something wrong, it must be me. This presupposes however that we are in control of everyone and everything around us. That we can always change fate by out attitude and vision. That stuff never just happens.

From years in New York City I learned if we wait for any external stimulation to feel happy we might be waiting a long time. It’s like getting on the subway and expecting people to suddenly look up and smile, to move instead of jostle or to allow you all the necessary time to get to, and get out the door when the car stops at a station (instead of making a headlong mad dash and hoping for the best). New Yorkers go by their own internal happiness meters.

And when a day conspires to make you feel that you caused it, that you created this reality, then it’s a good reminder to think back on what a Super Hero really is. She (or he) is usually thrust into an uncomfortable situation with bad guys trying to make things even worse. Does the Hero say “Hmm, I brought this on myself?” or does she realize the more we focus on inner strength/peace/joy the more we’ll be able to deal with the bad guys, or in this instance, the bad days that seem to be after us. We can realize things are just the way they are today, nothing more, nothing less. And that all the events—no matter how unexpected or disappointing—are lessons. We’ve done nothing wrong. It’s just the day, it’s not the Hero. And as my son reminded me in his own inimitable way, you’ve got your health, you’ve got us (family), you’ve got a place to live and food to eat…what’s the big deal? Leave it to family to remind us of how blessed we really are.

In case you’re just joining me, welcome to my blog. I appreciate you stopping by, and I’d like to tell you why I decided to write a book on Super Heroes…As kids many of us knew we were going to grow up and change the world, be something spectacular, become some sort of Hero. That was our destiny, we couldn’t go wrong.

Then we got busy and raised families and went to school and earned a living and most of the time we forgot about our lofty goals of changing the world. But the world still needs changing. And the great thing most of us have figured out is we change things little by little, one small act of understanding or tolerance, one unique idea or act of courage. SOS’s I call them, the Series of Small Successes.

And so in order to change a culture, change morale, change our attitude on life, quit stressing or start living fully, we need to be the ones to model these super powers. We can no longer wait for anyone else to get smart enough or passionate enough to take over and create change, it’s up to us. A young boy named Nicosi Johnson once said we must do what we can, with what we’ve got, where we are, right now. So we begin by realizing everything is created in a mental world first, and then it becomes physical. As true life Super Heroes we can create the change that is needed, simply by using the powers we already possess. And my book makes it easy for us to remember what we know and how to use it to create powerful and lasting change.

For example, what do you want to be remembered for? Is it the car you drive, the cleanliness of your desk or your tennis score? Or do you want to be remembered for those you helped, how you impacted someone’s life in a way no one else could?

Each power is unique and helps us create change in specific areas. One power is Attitude, the ability to transform our lives just by how we think and where we put our focus. Then there’s Contagious Courage that helps us handle change and transition. Elasticity is the power to help us stretch and adapt while Magnetism helps us draw others to us and build trust and relationships. Omnilinguistics is the power to understand what others need and “speak” their language and Serendicity is the power to attract opportunities. The power X-ray Vision helps us see through the problem to the potential in a situation, and Force Field helps us reflect away anger and utilize forgiveness. My last two powers are Invisibility, the ability to lead by staying in the background and helping make others powerful, and Spontaneous Combustion, the ability to fire up and motivate others to excellence.

I hope you’ll take time to look at all your powers, think about which ones could use a bit of polishing up and which ones you already use brilliantly. And I would love to hear your nominations for future Super Heroes. These are the people who are already using one of the powers in an exemplary way; making a difference in your life. Every nominee gets a Super Hero button to wear (and give away) and every winner receives a copy of my book.

Thanks again for stopping by.

In thinking about a book I read years ago on creating one’s own reality, I remember thinking at the time, what a silly thing to write about. No one creates their own reality. And if we had that kind of power, I thought at the time, I would be creating something substantially better than what I had.

But over the years I’ve learned, usually the hard way, that our mind is always working, every second–sleeping or awake–and if we aren’t mindful of what we are creating we’re going to be creating lots of things we’d rather not have.

That’s exactly what the concept of Super Powers is all about. It’s realizing just how powerful our mind really is. If we are to be the Heroes that inspire others then it starts (as of course we know it always has) with ourselves, how we are creating our world. Someone said everything in our lives comes from either love or fear, and one of our jobs as leaders and Heroes is to live our lives from the perspective of giving and sharing instead of reacting from fear.

Maybe super heroes don’t fly around in capes or call attentin to themselves anymore. Maybe they are the quiet ones who understand the incredible power they have in creating what goes on around them based on their beliefs, and they inspire others through their peace, joy and openess to everything happening in their world.

We know there are all sorts of heroes in the world, the caped crusaders and saints, the masked marvels and the hometown teachers. Super Heroes come in all flavors and sizes, but the qualities we tend to associate with all heroes are power, bravado and courage. They never back down from a fight.

And so, if this is the case, then where would forgiveness come into the mix?

I bring this up because when I write about many of the super powers in my new book, I reference forgiveness. And I had someone email me the other day saying that if they forgave the same people could turn around and hurt them again. That may sound logical, but it will ultimately backfire, and here’s why.

Let’s say someone does something to deliberately harm or hurt you, and you chose to remain angry. First, your energy gets blocked. Just imagine wearing Velcro, and every time you decide to hold onto an injustice, big or little, there’s an icon of the person or situation that attaches itself to you. You’re wearing your anger all the time, only it gets buried beneath the surface, living in your subconscious.

Now let’s assume you continue holding onto resentments and attracting these little icons. Can you imagine if every icon weighed only an ounce how much weight you’d be lugging around? Of course you wouldn’t realize you were being robbed of your energy because you would have accumulated it slowly, little anger by little anger.

Behavioral kinesiology says every negative thought has a physical impact on your body. So if you allow all this to fester in the subconscious, it will be continually harder to create what you want. And of course trying to create change with just the conscious mind is like trying to change a computer program by dusting your laptop. It won’t work.

Bottom line, holding onto any anger or frustration just gives additional shelf life to the original wrong that was done. Choosing (and you can) to let go allows you the freedom to create what you want. As you may have heard before, choosing not to forgive is a lot like drinking rat poison and hoping the rat will die.

The Super Hero knows there’s strength in forgiving. Have fun forgiving anyone who has ever annoyed you, and let me know if you don’t feel just a bit lighter, feel a bit more energy to go out and create what you want!