In looking at how we retrain ourselves mentally it’s interesting to look at how we define resilience. One definition talks about an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change, to jump back, with a synonym of elastic. And when I think of elasticity, I think of a rubber band that snaps back or a yoga master who has such control over her body there is a beautiful elasticity as she contorts into her lotus or other positions.

Of course if we went to our first yoga class and tried to follow along with an extensive routine, we might be in trouble physically. But if we were up to continually stretching and focusing on attaining the positions, eventually we would get there. Yet so often we see people we work with who fight to protect their right not to bend or stretch mentally, arguing against anything new that might force them to mentally limber up. By the way it’s been said we think 60,000 thoughts a day, and 90% are repeats!

As we prepare for the New Year and strategize on our future successes in 2010, it’s a great time to realize the power we have to control our thoughts and gently guide them toward a more resilient mindset.

In his book Evolve Your Brain, Joe Dispensa reminds us we are what we believe. Change how we see ourselves and we change our outcome. He explains that in his studies of neuroscience it’s been proven we change our brain (that 100 billion cell organ of ours) just by thinking. And when we rehearse failure and mentally focus on limiting thoughts, we strengthen what we don’t want.

My Super Power Elasticity reminds us of the necessity of stretching outside our comfort zones in order to be as adaptable and flexible as we need to be to succeed. So here’s a fun (and possibly tiny bit painful) exercise.

Think of something that is a problem right now that you’re dealing with. Let’s not make it too big, but still an annoyance of some sort. Ask a colleague to watch where your eyes go when you think of this problem. For instance, if you’re thinking of a major deadline that is troubling you, do your eyes go up and to the right? And if you are thinking of person who drives you crazy, do your eyes go down and to the left? Once you know which way your eyes go put a rubber band on your wrist.

Next, think of something that makes you happy, makes you feel good (for me it’s usually sitting in the forest with my dogs, smelling pine, feeling wind through my hair and sunlight on my face).

OK, here we go helping the brain create a new perspective on a problem. As you start to think about the negative issue snap the rubber band on your wrist, say “stop it” and put your eyes in the opposite direction from where they were when you thought of the problem. Follow that up with a few seconds of focusing on the thought (resource state) that made you happy.

Of course all you’re doing is rewiring so that instead of dreading the meeting/person/situation you’ll be open to hear the conversation or alternative ideas. And will it happen immediately? Nope. But tenacity always pays off here, and you can absolutely change your perspective on something.

And if this sounds quite crazy to you, stop and think of how hard it is NOT to think of a purple elephant if someone came up right now and said not to think of one. We get stuck with old thought patterns. Yet the brain’s natural capacity of neuroplasticity, to rewire and create new outcomes, is amazing. We just need to help our thinking along a bit.

Amazing what we can create, how resilient we really are. Have fun changing your mind on something today. Let me know how it works, and if you find a small red mark on your wrist from the rubber band (as I have from time to time) it just reminds us of how deeply we can obsess over something we don’t want. How much more productive we are when we create what we do want instead!